Kathy Valladares TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER © 1996 Chicago Tribune Web-posted: Monday May 13, 1996 King Gustav III of Sweden took it upon himself, one day in the otherwise unremarkable 18th century, to finally settle the debate of which was worse for the human to consume in great quantities, coffee or tea. Conscripting the help of two death row inmates, he forwent their regular methods of death to have doctors pump volumes of coffee in one, volumes of tea in the other. (This was back before prisoner's rights and the ACLU.) The first to die, the logic went, would reveal the more unhealthy beverage. To the dismay of 18th century science (but the joy of coffee and tea houses everywhere), both prisoners lived to a ripe (if jittery) old age, outlasting all the doctors assigned to them.
Which just goes to prove what we already know. Coffee = Good. Caffeine
isn't just some addictive drug. It's THE addictive drug of the 90s. It's
the Reason America Can Get Up After Last Night. It's also been
scientifically proven to temporarily increase alertness, comprehension,
reflexes, rate of learning, and clarity of thought. Really. Of course,
there's also those studies that mention hand tremors, loss of coordination
and/or appetite, insomnia, heart palpitations, etc. But who believes