Trout: No problem. By the way, you look familiar. Are you in any of my classes?
Trent: Not this semester. But I have taken two of your classes in previous semesters. I took Creative Writing and Postmodern Fiction.
Trout: Oh, yes. Now I remember. And, if I recall correctly, you kept getting the classes confused. You kept handing in postmodern rants in Creative Fiction. And your essays in the postmodern class were, well, creative.
Trent: Exactly what is your title Professor Trout?
Trout: If you want to be precise, I am a Professor of Twentieth Century Postmodern Literature.
Trent: And what does that mean?
Trout: It means that I have to teach a lot of freshman composition and occasionally a more in-depth course on postmodern fiction.
Trent: I've heard this word postmodern quite a bit, especially in your class. Could you give me a succinct description for our readers?
Trout: Up until about eight hundred years ago, truth was defined theologically. That is, truth was what the Bible said was truth. Then, very slowly, people began to check things out for themselves. This led to science and science led to a belief that the source of truth was people, not God. And this became known as the modern age. Prior to the modern age, if you wanted to understand astronomy you would look for answers in the Bible. In the modern age you would look at the stars.
Trent: How did we get from modern to post modern?
Trout: Up until the last century or so, the modern worldview worked out pretty well. People felt comfortable being able to discover truth for themselves. But, as various cultures began to interact with each other, they found that different cultures had different views on the truth. So this, in turn, led to a belief that there was not a single truth, there were only different perspectives. And that is the essence of post modernism.
Trent: Can't somebody sort out the different perspectives and figure out which one is really true?
Trout: How? Culture X has its standard of truth and Culture Y has a different standard. You can't use Culture X's standard on Culture Y and vice versa. And there is no meta standard. So you just land up with different perspectives.
Trent: Is post modernism the dominant philosophy in literature today?
Trout: I wouldnt call it a philosophy. It isn't really a sense-making framework. It is more of a psychological disorder - a reaction to cognitive dissonance.
Trent: What are some of the characteristics, er, symptoms of post modernism?
Trout: Well, multiple perspectives is key. In addition, there is a sense of being bombarded by images and impressions without a coherent sense-making framework with which to make sense of it all. And there is a blurring of the lines between art and reality - you know, art imitating life imitating art and all that. The lines between fiction and reality, which have been steadfastly preserved in the past, have now become blurred to the extent that it is becoming increasing more difficult to determine what is fact and what is fiction. In fact, I am a good example of that.
Trent: I'm not sure if I understand. Could you explain that last statement?
Trout: Yes, it bears explaining. I am an example of the lines being blurred between fiction and reality. You see, my father was the writer Kilgore Trout.
Trent: Not THE Kilgore Trout. That is simply not possible.
Trout: Yes, THE Kilgore Trout. He only has one book officially to his name. That was Venus on the Half Shell. But he wrote many, many more books for which he did not receive any credit.
Trent: But Kilgore Trout was a fictional writer created by Kurt Vonnegut. How can a fictional character be your father?
Trout: Well, it isn't such a mystery. After all, I am fictional too.
(I couldnt help laughing. Professor Trout was putting one over on me and I had to admit that he was being terribly funny. But, when I looked up at him, I could see that he wasn't laughing. In fact he was dead serious.)
Trout: I'm not joking. I am fictional. Whether or not you realize it, we are actually in a story. It isn't much of a story so far, but a story nonetheless. And I hate to be the one to tell you, but you are fictional too!
Trent: What do you mean that I am fictional?
Trout: I mean that you only exist as a character in a series of sketches. You are not real. You are only fictional.
Trent: This is silly.
Trout: Is it? Do you know where you were born? Do you remember growing up? What was the name of your first girlfriend? Do you have a driver's license?
Trent: Well, I, well, I.
He had some good points. I did not know where I was born. I did not know the name of my first girlfriend. In fact, the only names that I knew were Professor Trout, Higgenbothom and Sally Nestermyer. And I did not remember growing up. In fact, I didnt seem to have any memory at all of my life prior to four or five chapters ago.
Trent: What about Higgenbothom and Nestermyer? Are they fictional too?
Trout: Of course, they are. You are all in the same story, as I am too. Like I said, it isn't much of a story. But characters rarely have much choice about the stories in which they appear. It isn't as though we try out for the parts.
Trent: How did you land up in this story?
Trout: Artz needed a character to break the news to you that you are fictional. So he added me to the story. The truth is that I am not really even a professor.
Trent: What about all that stuff you just said about post modernism?
Trout: Artz had me say those words because they were needed in the story. I really have no idea what they mean. I just do whatever Artz makes me do.
Trent: Well, that doesn't seem very fair. What if I don't want to be in this story?
Trout: You'll have to talk to Artz about that. But I doubt if you'll get anywhere. Artz isn't known for being very flexible.
Trent: I don't think I like this at all.
Trout: Well, my boy, I think you would be better off if you just accepted your role in life. Besides, being fictional isnt all that bad.
Trent: How so? Your entire life is controlled by some writer who may not even be a very good writer. What if you are in a story that the author can't figure out how to finish and you are just left there in limbo.
Trout: Well, there are risks. But there are also benefits.
Trent: Such as.
Trout: Well, Vonnegut left me as a drug addict back in 1973. Artz rescued me and made me a professor. Being a professor isnt so bad. It certainly beats being a junkie or having a real job. So I'm not complaining.
This was all too much for me to absorb. As I walked back to the Foghorn offices, I wondered if what Trout had said was true. Maybe he was just putting me on. But, if he was just kidding, how did I just show up working for the Foggy Bottom Foghorn with no memory of my past? And if he was serious, how would I know if I am thinking right now are my own thoughts or if these thoughts are just part of the story. It was all a little too much. So I decided to just drop off my interview at the Foghorn office, go have a couple of beers and try not to think too much about what Trout had said.
I had a strong craving for a McEwan's Scotch Ale, and, since I had never had a McEwan's Scotch Ale, I was pretty sure that I was not even thinking my own thoughts. I had a sinking feeling that this was all going to get very complicated.