NOV-A-14
A VERY EVENTFUL AND
WONDERFUL WEEKEND
WITH THE FLIGHT TO IOWA, AND
LONG DRIVE BACK
TO DERWOOD, WHERE INTERIOR
DESIGNS WERE NEARING COMPLETION IN PLANNING AND A VERY HAPPY MEETING WAS
INITIATED AND FURTHER PLANS WERE ENGAGED
November
24, 2003
I ended
Nov-A-13 with some concerns and resignation about unresolved issues, and some
are still unresolved—but, nonetheless, there has been remarkable progress in
some areas. The Audi A-4 matter is
resolved and the sporty luxury vehicle has been successfully transferred to
Derwood. The best part of that was the
pair of ten hour day-long drives in which two people could work out some
details and concerns and agree upon a course of action for the near and
intermediate term future, which will require more time and progress in a
transition.
Then, Virginia and Sandy Sheilor
got together after Virginia’s
first excited view of Derwood when we had first arrived at dusk, and she could
see what it is becoming, and they made remarkable progress toward completing the
interior design of the furnishings and accoutrements
of the grand plan. As a final and
highest point, Virginia’s
parents, Robert and Beverley Croskery, came through from their alumni weekend
in Yale on their way to their son Rick’s home in North
Carolina for Thanksgiving, and could stop in Gaithersburg
to rendezvous with Virginia and
meet me in a happy celebration of a great family. In a very drowsy pre-dawn run
to DCA, Virginia got to check in
for her 6:30 flight before 5:00, with each of us tired but resolved to
keep on communicating and trying to understand the complex issues before us
with a still hurting recent past given further time for healing.
FLIGHT INTO DESMOINES AND TAKE OFF FROM INDIANOLA
My flights
into Iowa were uneventful, and I
did get a chance to complete the photo albums I had taken along to show Virginia. We had dinner in the Indianola Country
Kitchen, and then had to discuss some very hard issues, which led to a
sleepless night and a lot of effort at understanding. We got a number of chores done in the
morning, packing up some of the items that would be needed for the trip and
also closing out some items for Virginia’s
absence. We drove to Iowa
City and stopped for lunch at the Garden, a favorite
spot for Virginia as she continues
her thesis work there. We drove on,
without Audiobooks or other distractions from more significant subjects, and
made it to Cincinnati at dark.
Virginia’s
parents have a large condo in a very nice place in Cincinnati
overlooking a wooded area down to the river.
They had a large condo and added the neighboring one, so there is a lot
of room. Both Robert and Beverley each
have an office and the walls are filled with pictures which were my main
interest—as I took the “Roots Tour” of Virginia’s early life—a very happy and
secure family life, with her siblings and including the time of her being Miss
Greater Cincinnati and her marriage. I
got a copy of her Mom’s book on Shamir and the Rainforest. I saw many points of the kids growing up, a
number of which were balanced by another group of their kids at about the same
age in a next generation. Her parents
are in New haven Connecticut
at a Yale Alumni Association meeting, and will intercept us later as they drive
down to North Carolina where they
have a condo near Greenville where
their son Rick lives.
We left Cincinnati
for the far more interesting and easier drive for the second day, which
included Pennsylvania and West
Virginia and Maryland. We stopped for gas and saw two Amish kids,
brother and sister who were selling handmade baskets and one item a double
decker pie basket. Virginia
liked it, and them, so we got a pie basket.
We drove on through the territory familiar to me, the rolling western Maryland
countryside, where we had last rendezvoused at Frostburg for the college tour
when Virginia brought Margeaux.
It was
getting dark as we came into Gaithersburg,
but Virginia had mounting
excitement, and she wanted to go to see Derwood, which she had just only now
seen in the photo album for the first time viewing any pictures of it. She was excited about what is happening
there. After crossing the threshold,
only then did it become apparent how much of my past life has been blown away
and carted out in the multiple dumpsters after the demolition. The “gutting” is an irreversible
commitment. But, what is now coming to
be is very spectacular. She peeked into
the Great Room and only later found her way around through the library into
that room. But, her greatest joy was of
the Breakfast Room, which is a wonderfully crafted
workmanship and an extension out into the woods that changes the character of
the whole house. She liked what she saw.
I ran a
short distance in the morning from the Comfort Inn through King Farm, seeing
white picket fenced houses in crescents looking like they had been built fifty
years ago, although they were not even yet finished. One glance at the construction shows the
difference in quality with the custom workmanship at Derwood. We went back to look over the area of the
garden, and also to get things out of the storage that had been left there for
Christmas presents. We brought down
chairs from the storage, but wound up using the picnic table since it had
better light and the day was mild. As
soon as I walked out to the yard, five deer were present, and at the head of
the group was the fourteen-point buck, so Virginia
got a chance to see the deer waving white tails at her.
THE INTERIOR DESIGN SESSION WITH SANDY SHEILOR
AS ROOFERS ARRIVE,
DIANE DOWNING DROPS IN,
AND VIRGINIA’S
PARENTS DRIVE IN TO GAITHERSBURG
In probably
the only time she has ever done a session with a client on Sunday, Sandy
Sheilor came over and all the designs and patterns, fabrics for upholstery and
furniture selection that Virginia
had gone over and had selected with me earlier were reviewed. Sandy
had done a thorough job of selection and had limited the numbers to a few
pieces that would go well together. In
the course of our marathon session of rapid judgments and selections, two
trucks pulled up and the roofers came to start shingling the Breakfast Room and
finishing the Great Room. Diane Downing
came by to see what progress had been made and met both Sandy and Virginia with
all their samples spread out before them.
Virginia’s parents called along
the way to let her know about when they were expecting to arrive. She was eager to show them Derwood, and when
they had checked in, I went over to pick them up as Sandy
and Virginia continued to work on
the selection processes. Virginia
then toured them around as I finished with Sandy.
VISIT WITH VIRGINIA’S PARENTS
Virginia
and her parents went over the Photo Albums of Malawi and the Zambia Safari and
had a long talk about her own misgivings and doubts, and her concerns about
herself, and similarly, about me. The
sage advice about what to do now was best summarized by the wise council that
everything seems to be going right for her now except for her own feelings, so
do nothing to disturb the progress on other fronts and to wait for the passage
of time to heal some of her hurts and doubts over what had just happened in her
life. Perhaps it may be these events
which have caused her to spin very dramatically back and forth, despite a
rational side of her which has her asking “What’s wrong with me?” I may need that too.
We had a good dinner in the Hunt
Room at Clyde’s at Tower Lodge. There are an amazing number of congruencies,
compatibilities and common interests and it would be fun to explore many more
of them. Virginia
was somewhat feverish so she was quiet, “What else could I say, with both you
and my father in the same room?” But, I
think she enjoyed the experience as well.
Her mother is a remarkable woman and I can see about three fourths of
the sources of Virginia’s
strengths in her. It would be a
wonderful family to keep exploring further.
And, I have done foolish things
that have hurt: I have barraged Virginia
with more material than she can possible read, and she feels guilty about
deleting it unread. At least I have
unburdened her through the elimination of her Audi car payments and made her
somewhat closer to solvency in resolving the matter of her having several
vehicles. There were bigger pluses than
minuses in the course of this week of tumultuous feelings, which I hope, can continue
to resolve on the positive side. I had
written a letter to Virginia when
I could not talk with her, and that might hurt more than help since we do
better together than when apart, when the “drift” occurs and care
decreases. So, we will try to get together
on a few, but not all, of the plans already made. I am very grateful that she has taken such an
interest in and active role for the renovation of Derwood, and hope she may see
the fulfillment of many of these dreams and plans. For each of us: “Be careful what you wish and
hope for so mightily; it may come to be!”
Return to November Index
Return to Journal Index